I used to sit here on behind the screen for countless hour a month telling of all the miles I had logged on the pavement. The miles that were good. The miles that were bad. And the in between. Running.
It isn’t that I’ve stopped. In fact, I am still far from stopping. Maybe you remember, maybe you are new here. I have this goal. It’s kind of lofty, kind of all depends on how my body handles the years to come, but I want to run a marathon in every state. Yup. That’s right.
Back in the day, that was usually my topic of discussion. How the training runs were going. How my mind was mentally. Preparing for a marathon in no joke and yet I found myself doing them again and again. I still find myself doing them again and again.
Finding the time to drain my thoughts on here, was a great source of, not venting, but releasing the tension that had built up inside my mind and my body. Now, where has the time gone. I can’t seem to find it. Find the time to basically journal my runs to help me know and realize what I was doing.
Why am I writing this now? Am I finally committing to bringing back the run talk? No. I think it is part of me just needed to get something off my chest like I used to. I need to release some feelings that I’ve had over the last few weeks. I won’t be running a marathon this year.
There I said it. It’s nothing crazy for the outside world. I personally had to grieve the loss a little especially after having come off my 12th marathon (11th state) feeling extremely good mentally. To be honest, it was the best I felt for years worth of races. And that is hard to stop. It is hard to put a pause on.
I have 39 states to go and that sounds like a heck of a lot at the age of 35 (almost 36). If I skip a year it will be just that much longer. If I don’t run two a year, I’ll be really old when I finish. Will my body give out before then? A lot of things that cross the mind and creep in.
It is funny how running 26.2 miles repeatedly brings so many thoughts and grieving. Well, there you have it. My current 2023 running thoughts that haven’t been shared for probably over 5 years.
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