Now what? I am that statistic and I thought for sure that my next step would be taking tests. I had already spent a lot of money for the year on blood work from my December miscarriage and this April one. I have a high deductible, so I just thought that it would all work out. Well, tests are expensive and so are the appointments to just talk with your doctor about next steps. We sat down and talked over all of the options for tests that she thought would be beneficial to me. She came up with five different tests with several of them having two different parts to them. This was a lot to do, so she had her staff contact my insurance company to see what my out of pocket would end up being. There was no way I was just going to start taking tests to just take tests. Plus, being a single income family with a high deductible meant that we needed to prioritize our options and steps.
After a month, I heard back from the nurse with a total out of pocket coming close to $1800. What?!?!? This whole process confuses me because there might be something going on with my body that could be causing miscarriages which is a health issue. Isn’t it? If its a blood clot disorder, wouldn’t that affect my health in some way? Or one of the many other tests that would show if something was wrong in my body. I have a healthy almost three year old, so it isn’t like I can’t have a kid. Apparently insurance companies don’t do a whole lot for fertility issues. This is something that I just don’t understand because it could lead to a bigger health issue and the body rejecting a pregnancy could be a prevention of a bigger illness. There are so many things that it could be yet the health industry really just doesn’t seem to care.
My doctor’s office was going to prioritize the tests, so that we couldn’t decide a little better about our next steps. Well, it has been over two months since I have talked with the doctor. They haven’t called me back, which is annoying, yet I haven’t tried calling them either. So I have decided that my next step is to just give my body time. To wait, take a break and trust that God is doing the work that is needed inside my body. Yes, I get baby fever at times. Yes, I want to just jump back in and start trying, but I haven’t felt that my body or mind is ready. The time will come. For now, I am just waiting on the Lord. Waiting for His timing and to know that my mind and body are ready to take it on again. This isn’t easy. Waiting isn’t ever easy. I just want to hold my baby. I don’t want to have to watch my next due date come and go without another baby, but I have to do just that. I have to wait. The time will come. I’ll hold friends babies and love on them and those mommas in the meantime. Next steps are hard. Espeically when there is no clear direction.