My little man is almost 8 months old. I can’t believe how fast the time has gone by. Over the last 5 months plus of working, I have struggled with being away from Elijah like most mom’s do. I have gone back and forth with wanting to work and staying home. I my mind I knew that all I wanted to do was stay home with Elijah. It was always what I felt was right and what both Brent and I wanted. Before we had kids, we always said that we wanted to raise them. We didn’t want other’s raising our kids. To Brent and I, having kids and raising them was our job. We still both feel that way.
What have I been doing working? Why have I continued down this path even though we didn’t feel or think that is what God wanted for our little family? I don’t know other than I have been at my job for 9 years that is almost 1/3 of my life. I have feel very devoted to it and never wanted to let them down. In the end though, it is what is best for my family. I had to think of myself and know that they would get by without me. It doesn’t matter what struggles they are going through because there will always be something. There will always be one more thing that I want to get done. There will be another struggle and excuse for why I can’t leave.
I finally stopped going back and forth. I finally made the decision that I had been longing to do. I put in my notice and will be done on May 31st. It wasn’t an easy decision. I will miss those that I have worked with for so long. I was only 20 when I started working there. I have gone through a lot in my life and I have been through a lot of changes at work as well. Once I finally made that decision and talked with my boss, I finally had this peace that I had been searching for for so long. God knew I needed this. I can’t wait to be home with Elijah. I just have a few more days left. What excitement I have! I am already happier and have so much less stress and the day isn’t here yet. Thank you all for your prayers while I struggled through this decision.
I look forward to continuing my trust in God that He will get us through any difficult financial times we have coming. I know we can work through it and I know that He will provide as we trust in Him. I think this is what Brent and I need for a better relationship with Him as well. We spend so much time focused on how we can do things that we so often forget to trust in Him.
We will do our part as well. Brent has been wanting me to help with his 35 media company and I just never felt like I had the time or energy. It honestly stressed me out. Now, I can help him pursue his passion. He is already planning a set of photography courses that he will offer during the middle of the summer. A dream that he has had for some time now. The excitement that he is getting for his passion has changed his attitude as well. He is already less stressed as well.
Great things are already coming out of this decision. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for our little family.
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