This post was written in 2021, and never posted, so here you go. I think it’s as applicable today as it was two years ago.
Instagram, Netflix, Twitter, Baby Yoda. What do all these things have in common? They all occupy time, a lot of time. As we head out of a crazy year, one where we were isolated, our time spent staring into the sea of digital options expanded. I know my time spent scrolling social media posts and watching countless hours of video sure spiked. Early on during the pandemic, my work was pushed to remote only. We had only been in our home a month and it was an amazing period of creativity, productivity and family balance. I’d get up early, work 2-3 hours before the kids woke up, make breakfast, have a couple digital meetings, and by 2 or 3 in the afternoon, I’d be done with my work day! But as 2020 rolled on, it all seemed to roll downhill.
I let passive, escapist forms of activity dominate my downtime at the same time as I entrenched myself more into the drama of our social/political world. This became a feedback loop where I spent far too much time letting someone else do the thinking for me. With social media and new feeds at a fever-pitch, I knew that I had to change something about it.
I wasn’t alone in this, Jessica also was feeling much the same. We would find ourselves scrolling through our phones at the dinner table or while “playing” with the kids. Sometimes it was work, but there was no urgency that required us to do so at the time. It made for unfulfilling time together. Elijah was looking for attention, and I was focused elsewhere. Jessica and I decided to make some changes.
Remove yourself from the temptation
We decided that Phones were no longer allowed at the table during meals and notifications for all but messaging apps were shut off. We shut off the news feeds on our phones. At work I leave my phone on my desk, face down and on silent mode. I even went so far as to buy an alarm clock from Goodwill and move my charger to the other side of the room. With each week, I find my dependence on my phone lessening.
I also found myself spending far too much time watching YouTube, so I did something similar there. I unsubscribed from channels that I either no longer cared to watch, ones that led to stressful thoughts, or just ones that were an idle waste of time.
TV is one where Jessica and I probably struggle the most with. Our default activity post bedtime ritual with the kids is to go snuggle on the couch and watch TV for about two hours. And this happens nearly every night! I know that some of you might think this is silly. So what if you watch stuff for a couple hours every night? The average American watches 5 hours a day, that’s 77 days-worth of your year spent watching TV shows and movies. I think we can find better things to fill our time with.
Find yourself some creative outlets
Note I said outlets, plural. Some of you might have the drive and focus to dive into a new hobby and never turn back. For most though, find a variety of things to do. If you’re the scheduling type, make a ritual of it. If you still want to spend time with your friends, family, or significant other, consider their tastes and find some communal activities. Jessica and I have been playing card games and the occasional board game. (Side note: the Oregon Trail card game is an exercise in futility, we have yet to make it to the Willamette Valley.)
Jessica and I both have personal businesses, so we sometimes will put in some time there. For me personally, I’ve been getting back into woodworking, making a new dining table out of reclaimed lumber. Finding a hobby, especially if you don’t already have one, can be hard. Try things that you’ve thought about doing but kept yourself from. Paint, draw, write, learn a new skill. Once you find something you like to do, find a community of people doing the same thing. And don’t just try it once, it may take a couple tries.
Do nothing, seriously
That’s right. I want you to do nothing. I think part of our modern issues with our phone and media addiction stems from our inability to handle a few moments of inescapable silence, let alone intentional silence. Slot in some time, I’d recommend the start or end of your day. It doesn’t have to be long, start with a few minutes.
Take advantage of downtime as it comes to you. If you have nothing pressing to do and have some time to spare, say you’re waiting for someone, or you got a flat tire and are waiting at a tire shop. Resist the urge to pick up your phone and be present.
I grew up “off-grid” so to speak. We had no power lines, no running water, and our toilet was an outhouse. We did have a few creature comforts afforded to us via some solar panels. We had a TV and even internet access (mind you, this was in the 90s) that absorbed some time when battery levels were high. Sheep, goats and chickens could be heard roaming around the cabin, and their care helped consume more time. You might not have a reference point like this (you probably don’t), so you might need to forge your own path.
Consider your time
If nothing else, I hope you consider your time. It is your most valuable resource, and you will never get a mulligan on this life, so make the most of it. Take some time away from all the devices and services vying for your time. Find something to do that you have a passion for. And finally, be okay with some boredom in your life, it’s busy enough.