Running: Conflicted Passion

I’ve been running off and on now for years. My earliest memories are from Jr. High, running track and field in the Spring and cross-country in the Fall. I loved running, I just loved it. It wasn’t that I was a driven, competitive athlete, but that I just could go for miles, stuck in my own head. My freshman year, I had to have surgery on a hernia which sidelined me from participating in cross-country that season. By the time Spring arrived and with it a new season of track, I just didn’t feel the same about running. The next school year came, but my schools cross-country program died, and so did my passion. I didn’t really run much after my freshman year, only when I felt extremely anxious or guilty for eating poorly (in college). It wasn’t until the summer before I married Jess that running started to creep back in.

Jess wasn’t a runner at that time. It helped solve two issues: The first was that with my school and work schedule, it was the only time we could see each other and second, it was a way to keep us a bit trimmer for the wedding day. It was usually a short run, nothing too intense. After the wedding came and went, the running ceased for a season. It wasn’t until Jess had her runner’s awakening a year or so later that we started running again, and to that I’m grateful. It has improved our health, made us more active and taken us to many amazing places.

But here I am, coming off a season of not running regularly. I was in “marathon” shape this time last year, in-between two full marathons. I was generally feeling good about my running, just not about its place in my life. Running helps me think clearer, be more healthy and generally gives me better stamina for whatever the day throws my way. Plus, when Jess and I get to run together, it provides some much needed time together. Running, while over the top of day-to-day activity, used to slot in much nicer with my schedule. Now it feels like a burden. 4 am wake up calls do not come naturally to me, plus Jess and I only get about two runs a week together. I don’t mind the alone time, running, but I do miss the time with Jess. This time, it’s just a bit more challenging.

Good things rarely come easy, and sometime not within our convenience. Would I love a more relaxed pace to my day? Of course, yes! But, that is not what life, what my circumstances, allow. So, for now, I work on dedication, discipline and will continue to get up early. Discipline is definitely something for me to work on. Maybe I can talk more to that later. I’ve re-written this closing paragraph many times trying to wrap it up. SO….

 

…TOO BE CONTINUED