I had all intentions | Lacking Motivation

I had the perfect option or so I thought…

I have been dreaming of running another marathon. I went through hours of searching the web to find one that would be easy to get to and be able to make a cheapish trip out of it. I had the perfect idea. Brent and I will be celebrating our 10 year anniversary in May, so why not find a marathon around May or June for another excuse to go somewhere? Also, I’ve done a marathon in the states that are within a decent drive, so I had to set my sites further. We live close to Portland, so getting on a plane isn’t hard. There are direct flights to several cities, so it’s perfect. I searched around and found one up in Anchorage, AK for the middle of June. It would be perfect. We could fly up there, spend a few days in the city and then meet up with some friends that recently moved up there. It would be the perfect trip.

I plugged my training days into my google calendar and decided to get a headstart on training. I’d work up to where I needed to be for the start of the training which was a very easy and realistic goal. I picked a plan that I had done before and knew that it would be great for getting me ready. In fact, I was beyond excited to start.

Then, I didn’t get out and run as much as I wanted. I didn’t start doing my strength training. I didn’t have any motivation to do the work before the training started. I typically would just register for the race to get me motivated and it always works. The problem here was that I didn’t know if we could go. The hubby is headed off to Nepal in a week and he will be taking off more time than we originally anticipated. Needless to say between that and not knowing if we really had the money for it, I never registered.

That is the first problem. Not registering. The second problem is that I am finding it harder and harder to push the toddler and I can’t wrap my head around doing a tempo run with him in the stroller. The third problem is mornings. Ok, so I told myself you can just get up early in the morning and by early I mean that I would have to be out running by 4 am at the latest, so the hubby could get off to work in time. That also meant that he would have to get up early to guarantee he was ready since the kiddo has been waking up early due to potty training. This just doesn’t excite me. I used to love my mornings runs before work. What ever happened to that girl?

It’s training week

Whelp, the week finally came for training to start. Day one past, day two past and here I sit questioning myself and my motivational skills. Guys, I truly want to do it, but I just can’t find it in myself to start training for something that isn’t on the calendar. Side note: It’s funny that I say this because when I first started running and I mean like day 1, I did a half marathon training program to just see if I could do it. I never raced. Anyways, I have changed and here I am struggling with getting out to do the thing I love.

Here I sit watching the snowfall and wondering where I am going to get the motivation to get back out there. My eating habits have been bad, my training habits have been bad, my strength training habits have been bad, so my knees are bothering me a bit and I just don’t feel overall healthy like I was.

Where is that motivation I had when I first started running? Where is that motivation I had to get healthy before having kids? Where is that motivation I had to stay healthy while pregnant? Where is that motivation I had to get back into shape after the baby? Well, I’m not finding it. In fact, I don’t know how to find it right now. I need to find it. Apparently motivation for a second baby isn’t doing it this time around. Let’s face it, even though I feel as though this stuff is bad, I am 100 times better than I was before I started running those 9 years ago.

Do I take a break? Is my body just telling me to do that right now? Where do I stand? I am at a loss for what to do with my running right now and I honestly don’t know what to do. When will I run marathon number 10?


Tell Me Tell Me

What helps you to get out there? Do you have any tips? Please let me know.

Marathoner

Jess Written by:

I am a Christ follower, wife to the most amazing guy, and a full time mommy which I wouldn't trade for the world. I am a lover of photography and a wannabe world traveler. Sometimes I find myself in the kitchen cooking up a new recipe. I love sharing my adventures old and new with anyone that will listen.