Uncomfortable

One afternoon last week, I was asked to take part in a friends senior project. He needed a lead vocal to fill the position of another that ended up unavailable for the concert. I sing in front of people all the time as a worship leader at New Hope Bible Church, and this song was actually going to be a contemporary praise song. How easy for me! I felt confident right until the moment I stepped up to the mic during rehearsal. Why was I nervous, why now, I’ve done this at least a thousand times. I came to two conclusions. First, this song had weight, a grade weight, a performance objective for my friend. I wanted him to sound good! The first time through was a little rough, nerves making me a little jittery. <sidenote> The 3x-normal coffee intake probably didn’t help</sidenote> Second, I had no guitar. You might find this funny, but I think it has some bearing. I have never just sung in front of people, I usually play guitar and sing. I guess you can say I hide behind my guitar, my comfortable friend and melodic companion over the years. It was a humbling experience and I was humbled to have the opportunity to not only perform with my friend, but present a praise song to a public crowd on the MSU campus.

A thought hit me after the concert, a self revelation of sorts. I had placed such a high emphasis on this performance that I psyched my self out, yet when I bring forth worship on a regular basis, I just run through it like any old routine. I wish, I hope that I would have that nervous excitement every time I step up to utter praises to God. This is the God that created the universe mind you. The One who hold the universe in both His literal and figurative hand. I should struggle to even stand when praising a God of this magnitude, yet I shrug it off like casual encounter. Maybe I should leave the guitar at home next time. That way there will be nothing between me and God.