Uncomfortable

One afternoon last week, I was asked to take part in a friends senior project. He needed a lead vocal to fill the position of another that ended up unavailable for the concert. I sing in front of people all the time as a worship leader at New Hope Bible Church, and this song was actually going to be a contemporary praise song. How easy for me! I felt confident right until the moment I stepped up to the mic during rehearsal. Why was I nervous, why now, I’ve done this at least a thousand times. I came to two conclusions. First, this song had weight, a grade weight, a performance objective for my friend. I wanted him to sound good! The first time through was a little rough, nerves making me a little jittery. <sidenote> The 3x-normal coffee intake probably didn’t help</sidenote> Second, I had no guitar. You might find this funny, but I think it has some bearing. I have never just sung in front of people, I usually play guitar and sing. I guess you can say I hide behind my guitar, my comfortable friend and melodic companion over the years. It was a humbling experience and I was humbled to have the opportunity to not only perform with my friend, but present a praise song to a public crowd on the MSU campus.

A thought hit me after the concert, a self revelation of sorts. I had placed such a high emphasis on this performance that I psyched my self out, yet when I bring forth worship on a regular basis, I just run through it like any old routine. I wish, I hope that I would have that nervous excitement every time I step up to utter praises to God. This is the God that created the universe mind you. The One who hold the universe in both His literal and figurative hand. I should struggle to even stand when praising a God of this magnitude, yet I shrug it off like casual encounter. Maybe I should leave the guitar at home next time. That way there will be nothing between me and God.

The lobby outside the Black Box theater at Montana State University in Bozeman, MT

 

Brent Written by:

So, I am a God fearing, husband to one amazing woman, an IT professional, camera wielding, part-time runner, outdoor enthusing, tinkering, coffee loving man. I am currently Co-Founder of Thirty Five Media in Bozeman, MT as well as an IT Manager for TREC, Inc. and a Creative Director at Venture Church. The plate is usually full, but I wouldn't trade it for anything!